


I'm Sorry, I was Drunk

by NerdyNostalgia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cheating, Cheating by kissing, Drunken Mistakes, Drunkenness, Getting Help, Getting Together, Hangover, M/M, Needing Help, Sheith endgame, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21521644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNostalgia/pseuds/NerdyNostalgia
Summary: Shiro wakes up to find Keith in his bed. He remembers nothing from the night before but the consequences leave him reeling and realising he needs help. He's gotten two people caught up in his self-destructive ways and hurt them both. Now he wants to fix it and make things right. Can he?
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Curtis/Shiro (Voltron) - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	I'm Sorry, I was Drunk

Shiro groaned as he woke up. His head hurt and felt like it was trying to split open. He tried to open his eyes and immediately closed them as it hurt to open them and it took too much effort to keep them open. He was ready to go back to sleep and sleep the day away to recover from his hangover when he heard movement next to him.

He was immediately on alert. He opened his eyes and tried to focus them. He blinked a few times and eventually it didn’t hurt to keep his eyes open. He turned his gaze to the other person in his bed and was thankful to see that they were fully clothed. He looked down at himself and saw the same thing. Something settled in his chest at the confirmation he hadn’t had a one night stand but now he wanted to know who he had brought home. He looked at what he could see and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was Keith who laid beside him.

He slowly got up and headed to the bathroom, content to let Keith sleep. Once inside he stripped his clothes off from the night before and started the shower. Heat flooded his cheeks as he peeled his underwear off. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Keith could’ve ended up in his bed. But what had happened? He barely remembered anything from the night before. But it stood to reason that something must have happened once he got home. Did that mean he and Keith had done something? His blush got worse at the idea.

It wasn’t that he was opposed to sleeping with Keith. His best friend was a gorgeous man and anyone would be lucky to have him but they weren’t like that, were they?

He finished his shower and changed into his pyjamas intent on spending the day laying around as he nursed the hangover. He could do that now as the war had ended over a year ago.

He made his way to the kitchen and began to make coffee. He was sure that his stomach couldn’t handle food right now. As he waited for his coffee he tried to think back on the events of the night before and so far nothing had come to him. He hoped that he remembered as the day went on. Once he had his coffee he made his way over to the sofa and tried to think of how Keith ended up in his bed and what that meant for how his plans for the evening had gone.

His entire reasoning for inviting the Paladins and ATLAS crew out was to introduce Curtis as his boyfriend. They had been dating for three months and he felt his friends should know. But now it was Keith in his bed and there was some evidence that they had done something they shouldn’t have. He remembered feeling nervous and so having a couple of drinks to calm his nerves. However he had trusted Lance with the drinks and he had brought back fruity flavoured cocktails. After starting his second one Shiro really didn’t remember anything.

Shiro finished his coffee and sighed as he laid his head on the back of the sofa. He closed his eyes and nervousness settled in his stomach. He wasn’t sure what had happened but he knew something had and he felt like it was going to be something which would change things.

“Shiro?”

Shiro slowly became aware of his surroundings and he wasn’t entirely sure he had heard his name when he heard it again, “Shiro?”

He opened his eyes and looked to his right to find Keith stood before him in a pair of his sweatpants and an old jumper of his that hadn’t yet been modified to fit his prosthetic. He looked adorable in the slightly too big clothing. Shiro felt his mouth dry out instantly at the sight. He couldn’t help but sweep his gaze across Keith’s entire body. There was also another part of him that really liked the idea of Keith in his clothing. He shook his head, under the impression of waking himself up, to get rid of the thoughts. He couldn’t think of Keith like that. Keith wasn’t his boyfriend and the two didn’t think of each other like that, or did they? Evidence was beginning to point in a direction that Shiro refused to acknowledge.

“You okay?” Keith asked as he sat down at the other end of the sofa.

Shiro turned to him and smiled, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just nursing a massive hangover. Do you want coffee?”

“Sure.”

Shiro was up before Keith had finished talking. It may have been the fact that they woke up in the same bed but he felt nervous around Keith. He poured a cup and brought it back into Keith who gratefully took it. Shiro sat back down and ran his hands over his sweatpants to try and alleviate some nerves.

He watched Keith lift the cup to his lips before looking down at his lap.

“I hope you don’t mind but my clothes were a bit messy. They need a wash so I changed into some of yours. I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure, of course that’s okay. I can go and wash both our clothes now so I don’t keep you if you’re needed somewhere.”

“I’m free the rest of the day but that would be great. Thank you.”

Shiro once again got up and collected their clothes from the bedroom. He went and sorted out the laundry. He leaned on the machine and shook his head again. It was just Keith. He had spent time with him before. It was no different than all those times before. Except for the fact that it was completely different from all those times before.

He returned to the living room and found Keith in the same position as before. He sat down, grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

“Your clothes should be ready soon.”

“Thanks Shiro.”

“No problem.”

Silence fell between them and the only noise was the television. Shiro remained tense until Keith made an off-handed comment about something a character on the TV did and Shiro threw his head back and laughed. It eased the air between them and Shiro allowed himself to relax. Banter and conversation flowed easily from that point on.

It was only after Keith left a few hours later that Shiro realised how much he had missed spending time with Keith. The two had been leading such different lives since the war had ended that he hadn’t realised how much he missed the younger man until they had just spent time hanging out. He hoped they could do it more often.

But the peace didn’t last.

As soon as he closed the door behind Keith he was left in silence and the thoughts of the night before came back to him. He felt guilty as Curtis hadn’t crossed his mind all morning. He hadn’t thought of him once. And shouldn’t he think of his own boyfriend at least once? Especially when in the presence of another man.

He got out his datapad intent on sending him a message to see if he was okay after last night. He saw multiple notifications on his screen. Once again he ignored Curtis in favour of Keith as he clicked on the message from the former Red Paladin.

‘ _Can we talk about what happened last night?_ ’

Shiro hesitated for a moment. Did he want to know what happened? But Keith had ended up in his bed. Surely he needed to talk to him. He typed out a response.

‘ _Sure. Can we meet tomorrow?_ ’

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. ‘ _Sure. Any place in mind?_ ’

Shiro thought for a moment. Where could he take Keith that would be private enough to that they could talk but if things became awkward they could both avoid the location in the future.

‘ _How about we meet at the new restaurant in town for lunch tomorrow?_ ’

‘ _Okay. Meet you there at 1200._ ’

‘ _See you tomorrow then._ ’

Shiro felt better knowing they were going to talk about what happened. Plus the restaurant was a neutral space. It was safe and the two knew that they could talk once there as the restaurant had separate booths for customers.

Now his focus turned to Curtis. He was nervous to see what Curtis had sent him. He took a deep breath and opened the message.

‘ _We’re over._ ’

Short, sweet and to the point. Shiro simply stared at the screen. What could’ve gone so wrong in one evening? He decided he needed to know what the others had sent him before replying to Curtis. He opened the messages and was shocked to find messages congratulating him on finally getting together with Keith. Everyone seemed to be celebrating the fact that he and Keith had, in Pidge’s words “gotten out of their own arses and seen what was right in front of them.” What shocked him the most was the pictures. He looked at the multitude of photos that had been taken of him and Keith making out. There were pictures of them kissing in the booth the Paladins had occupied at the bar, pictures of Shiro holding Keith against a wall and another of the two of them in the middle of the dance floor with their arms around each other and their lips joined.

Shiro was confused. What? How? What had he done? He’d not just cheated on the boyfriend no-one knew he had but had done so publicly and everyone thought it was a good thing. There was no excuse for what he had done but he knew he needed to talk to Curtis. He got changed and headed out to his apartment.

On the way he passed Hunk.

“Shiro! How are you faring this morning?” Hunk exclaimed when he saw him.

Shiro tried to appear normal but inside everything was in turmoil, “Had better mornings. How are you?”

“I’m good. Not surprised about you. You drank so much last night. I was surprised to know that the Captain of the ATLAS could drink so much. How was Keith this morning? He was just as wasted.”

Shiro winced, “Keith was alright. He seems to be able to handle his alcohol better than this old timer.”

The two shared a chuckle and Hunk leaned forward, “Are you okay? Anyone bothering you?”

Shiro was confused, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t want to appear rude but that guy that worked on the bridge kept following you last night. He tried to stick to you and it was so weird. He got so mad when you kissed Keith. We all found it so odd and he gave off these really weird vibes. It was like you had a stalker. You should’ve seen the way he was looking at you. It was like he was looking at a prize not a person. We were worried about you so we kept him away from you.”

Shiro chuckled nervously, “Oh, umm, thanks. Well, I’ll let you go. See you later Hunk.”

“Sure. Last night really was fun. We should do it again some time.”

“Yeah, we should.”

The two waved goodbye and went their own way. Hunk’s words weighed heavily on his mind and an uneasy feeling settled in his chest. Last night had been about introducing Curtis to his friends. Shiro was surprised that Hunk had taken such a dislike to the man. Hunk was the easiest person to get on with and it was rare that he actually disliked someone. It also meant that if he disliked Curtis then the others definitely would.

A part of him wanted to argue in Curtis’ favour that they simply hadn’t gotten to know him yet but he also trusted his friend’s instincts. He was conflicted as he walked the short distance to Curtis’ apartment.

He stood in front of the door for a few minutes as his nerves got the better of him. He hesitantly raised his hand and knocked the door three times. He waited patiently for an answer. The minutes stretched out and he couldn’t decide between knocking again and walking away. As he struggled to decide he heard a lock turn and the door opened.

Curtis glared as he saw who was on the other side. He went to close the door but Shiro was quicker and out his hand up to prevent the door from closing.

“We need to talk.” Shiro said.

Curtis continued to glare but sighed and opened the door to let Shiro in. Shiro entered the apartment and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Curtis closed the door and crossed his arms. The two stood in silence as Shiro tried to figure out how to start the conversation.

“I’m…”

Curtis held up a hand, “I swear to God if the next words out of your mouth are an apology I will kick you out. I don’t want to hear it. You made yourself pretty clear last night.”

“You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand? You spent most of the night with your tongue shoved down Kogane’s throat. You even went home with him. Once you had your eyes on him you didn’t bother to look at anyone else. It all seemed pretty clear to me. So tell me what I don’t understand.”

“It’s not like that. Keith and I, we’re not, we’ve never…It’s just, it’s not like that.” Shiro tried to explain as he shook his head.

Curtis laughed causing Shiro to look up, “And who are you trying to convince with that? You don’t exactly sound convinced by it yourself.”

Shiro opened and closed his mouth as he tried to think of something to say back but he couldn’t think of anything. Curtis shook his head at Shiro’s silence.

“Look, I don’t want excuses. I don’t want explanations or apologises. I want the truth.”

“I was drunk. I wasn’t in complete control of myself.”

“Bullshit! Plenty of people were drunk last night and they didn’t shove their tongues down their best friend’s throats. But you did. Just tell me why.”

“I told you. I was drunk.”

“What bull! I saw the way you looked at him. I saw the way he looked at you. The two of you couldn’t stop touching each other and when you were kissing it was like neither of you could believe that it was actually happening. You were all over each other. Then best of all, when you were caught and people started to heckle and cheer the two of you just clung to each other and smiled. When people asked if you two were together you certainly didn’t deny it. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? To know that everyone is rooting for your boyfriend to be with someone else and then said boyfriend doesn’t deny it? You even kissed him before you kissed me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I just want to know why you did it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do. I think there’s been a reason why you wanted to keep us a secret before now, why you didn’t want to let things get physical between us, why you didn’t even want to hold my hand in public and why you’ve never tried to kiss me even once. And I want you to admit it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told you why I didn’t want any of that. You know I’m still having issues with my body. I told you I was still struggling with it and you said it was fine, that you could handle it. You said you wouldn’t push me.”

“I guess I was wrong! I guess I couldn’t handle it! But I want to know the truth! Just tell me the truth!”

“I already have!”

“No you haven’t!” Curtis laughed as Shiro glared at him. It was a sarcastic laugh that settled uneasily between them, “You’re lying to yourself, just like you’re lying to me. Well you really need to figure it out Shiro. But as for us, we’re done. We’re over. I refuse to be your backup. I won’t be someone’s second choice just because you are lying to yourself. I won’t settle for second best. And I realise now I always will be when it comes to you and _Keith_.”

“Don’t say his name like that.”

Curtis laughed again and shook his head, “Even now you defend him and yet you still can’t see what is right in front of you. Now get out. We’re done. I hope the two of you are very happy together.”

Shiro shivered uncomfortably as Curtis put as much venom as possible into his last sentence. Curtis walked to the door and opened it, “Get out.”

Shiro walked out and flinched as the door slammed behind him. So, just like that his relationship was over. All because of a drunken mistake. But then why didn’t it feel like a mistake?

He walked back to his apartment and was surprised to find Matt sat outside.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he unlocked the door.

Matt stood up, “Came to visit. I was surprised to find you weren’t home. Would’ve thought you would’ve been cuddled up with Keith.” He teased.

Shiro sighed as made his way to the kitchen. Matt noticed the slump in his shoulders but decided not to broach the topic right away.

“Coffee?” Shiro asked as he set about making his own.

“Sure. Need it after last night.”

“Yeah.”

“What? Trouble in paradise?”

Shiro leaned forward on the counter, “Matt please, not today.”

“Shiro, what’s wrong?”

Shiro sighed and ran a hand over his face before making their coffees. He remained silent until he handed Matt his coffee, “Keith and I aren’t together.”

“Could’ve fooled everyone last night. You were all over each other. You couldn’t keep your eyes or hands off the other.”

Shiro sighed again and took a sip of coffee.

“Shiro, what’s this really about?” Matt asked, noticing his friend’s distress.

Shiro leaned back on the counter and looked down at his mug, “Until this morning I had a boyfriend.”

Matt was surprised to hear that, “What? Who?”

“Curtis.”

“Who?”

Shiro sighed, “He’s the communications officer on the bridge of the ATLAS. We were together for about three months. However after last night he broke up with me.”

“Sorry to hear that. But I think it’s safe to say you dodged a bullet there.”

“Matt that’s not helpful.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just shocked you would keep something like that a secret. You’ve never done that before. Why now?”

“He asked the same thing.”

“So why did you?”

“I don’t know. It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

“How can keeping it a secret be the right thing? We’re not at war anymore. We haven’t been for over a year.”

Shiro finished his coffee and put the mug down more forcefully than he meant to, “I don’t know Matt.” He was beginning to get frustrated. Why had he thought it the right thing to do? Deep down he knew but he didn’t want to admit it because it felt ridiculous now he was looking back at it.

“Shiro? Come on, you know you can tell me. Whatever it is I won’t judge you.”

Shiro looked at Matt. Did he tell him? Did he reveal his deepest secret to his old friend?

“It didn’t feel right telling anybody. I guess by telling people would mean it was real.”

“Because you didn’t believe it was real?” Shiro gave Matt a look which made him sigh, “Or because you didn’t want it to be real.” He said the last sentence as a statement.

Matt shook his head, “Shiro I’ve never known you to use a person like that. What possessed you to do that? And on top of it all you spent all of last night making out with Keith. What the hell were you thinking?”

Shiro shrugged, not sure how to answer, “I don’t know.”

Matt gave Shiro a disapproving look which caused Shiro to sigh, “I know it was wrong but it felt easy. Now that the war has been over for a year everyone kept asking when I would be settling down. They kept asking about my personal life and I felt like I was failing somehow by not having one. So I made the easy choice. Plus everyone else was moving on with their lives while I’m stuck here on Earth. I was lonely. Everyone is off living their own lives off of Earth and I’m stuck here while Earth’s government’s fight over what to do with IGF ATLAS. I guess I wanted a bit of company.”

“That’s a shit reason for what you did. Since when have you cared what others think? Why would you even think to do that to someone.”

“I know. I know it was wrong but I’ve always had to prove myself. Because of my disease, people always assumed that I was useless or incapable and some still have that mentality. I’ve always had a problem with doing what people expected of me and more to prove myself to them. To prove that I can take care of myself and am capable. I guess this time it bit me in the arse.”

Matt nodded, “You’re still an arsehole for doing all this, you know.”

Shiro nodded, “I know. I just don’t know how to get out of the hole I dug for myself or how to fix any of it.”

“What about Keith?”

“What about him?”

“Dude, you made out with him yesterday. That boy has had it bad for you for as long as I can remember. He’s going to have expectations, especially if he doesn’t know you had a boyfriend. Are you going to tell him?”

Shiro went wide eyed as Matt spoke, “I-I don’t know.”

Matt shook his head.

“Look, I know it sounds bad but I really don’t know what to do. I know I need to talk to him. We are actually meeting for lunch tomorrow to talk about last night. I don’t know if I’ll tell him about the other thing.”

“Shiro, you need to. If you don’t someone else will.”

“Not if no-one else knew and Curtis made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Well, no duh. You cheated on him.”

“I didn’t mean to. I was drunk and not thinking clearly.”

“So you think it was a mistake.”

“What?”

“Do you think kissing Keith was a mistake?”

Shiro opened and closed his mouth as he thought about it. Ever since he found out about it he hadn’t thought of it as a mistake. In fact while he hated the fact it had happened when they were drunk he hadn’t hated the idea or thought of it negatively.

“No. I just think how it happened was a mistake.”

“Okay. So what are you going to do?”

Shiro shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean I really don’t think it’s a good idea to start another relationship when I just got out of one. I don’t want Keith to be a rebound. But I know I don’t want Keith thinking I think it was a mistake.”

“You don’t want him to be a rebound? So you do want to be with him.”

Shiro stopped and opened and closed his mouth as he tried to figure out what to say. Matt smiled at the fact that he’d caught on to something his friend clearly hadn’t wanted him to know.

“I-I, uhh, I…”

“Got ya. You DO want to be with him. Thank the heavens one of you has finally admitted it.”

“I don’t even know if he feels the same, or if he’s single.”

Matt just looked at Shiro which made the man in question squirm, “Come on. Keith has only ever had eyes for you. You don’t have to worry about him feeling the same. Plus I’ve never seen him look at someone who isn’t you with anything other than boredom. So I highly doubt he’s with someone, especially if he made out with you for all of last night. Look, I think you really need to get your head sorted out. What you did was inexcusable and I can't believe that you of all people did it. But get some help Shiro. You need it.”

Shiro didn't miss the dig at him but despite Matt’s reassurances Shiro didn’t feel at ease. The conversation he knew he needed to have with Keith terrified him. He was opening himself up in a way he very rarely did and he wasn’t sure about putting himself out there in that way, especially after what had happened with Curtis.

* * *

The next day Shiro stood unsure and uneasy outside the restaurant he had suggested to meet Keith at. His nerves were getting the better of him and he wanted nothing more than to run away. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he willed himself forward. He was already late and he didn’t want to stand Keith up. He meant too much to him so Shiro nervously entered the restaurant.

He swallowed thickly when he saw Keith sat at one of the booths. He looked great. Shiro could barely keep his eyes off of him. He approached and watched as Keith’s face brightened and his eyes seemed to shine as he caught sight of him.

“Hey.” Keith welcomed.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late. It turns out when you need to go somewhere is the exact time people want your attention.” Shiro explained as he sat down.

Keith smiled, “Don’t worry about it. I’ve only been here for five minutes. So I wasn’t waiting long.”

“That’s good.”

The silence became a bit awkward but was thankfully interrupted by the waiter who asked what they would like to order. They ordered and silence once again fell.

“So, what happened a couple of nights ago…” Keith started.

“I’m sorry about that.” Shiro interrupted.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you while I was drunk. Our first kiss should’ve been while we were sober not drunk.”

Keith tilted his head and smiled, “Should it?”

Shiro looked up from the table and realised what he had just said, “Oh, umm, uhh, well, y-yes.”

Keith chuckled and Shiro felt his heart beat faster as the corners of Keith’s eyes wrinkled slightly as he smiled. The moment was interrupted by their food arriving.

“So, umm, what should we do about it?” Keith asked.

Shiro looked at Keith and could see the hopeful glint in his eyes. Could Matt be right? Was Keith hoping for a relationship with him? He hated what he was going to have to do now even if it was necessary.

“I would love to do to something about it but I can’t right now.”

Shiro hated how Keith’s face fell and a soft “Oh” left his lips.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he reached across the table and grabbed one of Keith’s hands, “It’s just that I need to go to therapy. I need to sort myself out before starting a relationship.”

“Are you okay?”

Shiro nodded, “Yeah I am, at least I think so. It’s just that since the war ended I’ve kind of felt like I’m floating in a way. I don’t really have any direction or purpose. The Garrison is still trying to argue for the ATLAS’ continued use and until we get the go ahead we’re grounded and desk work sucks. So I’ve kind of fallen into some self destructive behaviour recently. I’ve made some really bad choices and done some not so nice things to people. I don’t know I feel like as more time goes on I just don’t recognise myself. So I need to work on that and I don’t want to risk something that could be really good right now.”

“Okay. But are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I promise you.” He squeezed Keith’s hand and got a weak smile in response. He hated to worry or disappoint Keith but he really did need to work on himself. He hated that he had messed things up with both Keith and Curtis, that he had cheated on Curtis and led Keith on. He didn’t recognise himself in his actions anymore and knew that he had to do something or else it was going to get worse.

“Why don’t we spend the day together? I know you’re leaving tomorrow and it feels like it’s been ages since we just hung out.” Shiro suggested, hoping Keith would accept.

He watched as Keith’s smile grew brighter and he felt himself relax.

“Sure. It’s been a while since we took the hoverbikes out for a spin.” Keith replied.

Shiro finally allowed myself to relax as they tucked into their food. The conversation had gone well but he knew there was more he needed to say and more conversations that they needed to have before they could think about any kind of relationship. He just hoped that he didn’t screw this up the way he seemed to be screwing everything else in his life up. He really hoped that the therapy helped. He needed it to.

* * *

Shiro smiled as he thought back on the day he and Keith had spent together. Once they had eaten lunch they’d taken the hoverbikes out into the desert. Keith had taken Shiro to his father’s shack and he was surprised to find it renovated and liveable. They had raced and eventually ended up on a familiar cliff where they watched the sunset. Once night had fallen Keith took Shiro back to the shack. They had parted ways the next morning as Keith left to go on another mission with the Blades.

He still couldn’t believe how much fun he had, had. It had been a long time since he had felt as carefree as he did that afternoon. But since Keith left, with a promise of maybe between them, he had been trying to not continue his workaholic ways. The first thing he had done was look into therapy. He knew he needed it but he was terrified of being vulnerable and opening himself up to a stranger.

But so far it had been a painful yet positive experience over the course of the month he’d been seeing his therapist. He had, had to let people know that he and Keith weren’t together. It had led to a lot of disappointment but everyone had taken it well although they had been surprised at the news.

As he relaxed on his sofa a knock interrupted his reminiscing. He opened the door surprised to find Veronica on the other side with a small box in her hands.

“Veronica, what can I do for you?” He asked.

“I’m here on behalf of Curtis.” She replied. Her face was expressionless as she held out the box, “He says this is some stuff he found that belonged to you.”

“Oh, umm, thanks. Do you want to come in?”

Veronica shook her head, “No. I need to get back to work but he wanted you to have it.”

“Okay then.” Shiro said as he started rifling through the box. He saw a pair of sweatpants, a book…and a ring box? He picked it up and examined it. He flipped it open to find an engagement ring inside.

Veronica turned away as her job was done and hadn’t even taken a step when Shiro turned his attention back to her, “This isn’t mine.”

She sighed and turned back around, “Yes it is.” She almost felt pity for her confused Captain as get flicking his gaze between her and the ring.

“Curtis was going to give it to you.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think? Look, all I know is what he told me. Apparently if things had gone well when he met your friends he was planning on proposing to you.”

“But we’d only been together three months.”

“Well, he thought that was enough time to think about taking the next step. Look, it’s yours now. He didn’t want it anymore so you can do with it what you want.”

“Thanks.”

Veronica nodded and left.

Shiro was now left with the remains of his relationship. He went back into his apartment and put the box on the table. He kept the ring box in his hand and sat on the sofa, staring at it. He couldn’t believe that Curtis had been thinking about marriage. Shiro hadn’t yet gotten out of living one day at a time and yet Curtis was thinking about spending the rest of their lives together. Marriage had been the last thing on his mind as he wasn’t even sure he had loved Curtis, let alone that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. He thought about what he would’ve done if Curtis had asked. He thought about multiple different scenarios but deep down he knew that he would’ve said yes. He would’ve fallen into the pattern of behaviour that had become his normal. Curtis was a good man and he would’ve convinced himself that he could be happy when his heart wasn’t really in it. He would’ve gone along with it to spare Curtis the pain.

But he knew now it would’ve been the wrong thing to do. He and Curtis just weren’t right for each other. While it may have worked for a while the cracks would’ve eventually shown and only gotten worse as one or both of them tried to hold on to a relationship that wasn’t good for either of them. He was glad that both of them got out before that even if he was still ashamed of how it had ended. He could admit now that he had been with Curtis for the wrong reasons and he hated how he had treated him.

He closed the ring box and did the only thing he could think of. He threw the ring away. The sweatpants and the book were put away and tried to relax. But his mind kept going back to the ring. He still felt like he needed to apologise to Curtis about kissing Keith that night. He had tried a few times to reach out to him but each attempt had been rejected. He didn’t blame Curtis though. If he had been thinking about marriage with someone and then they cheated publicly, he’d be pissed too.

But he did wish Curtis the best. He hoped he found happiness one day, whatever form that took. He had never meant to hurt him. He knew he was to blame and that he could only apologise in getting someone tangled up in his issues. If he could change it he would. He never wanted to hurt anyone and he would always regret that he had, but now he needed to let that part of his life go.

But with everything between them exchanged, they could now move on with their lives.

* * *

Another year passed and Shiro felt more like himself than he had in a long time. The therapy was helping and he was finally dealing with his trauma. He felt at peace with himself for the first time ever. He spent more time with friends and was glad to endure their relentless teasing about his lack of a love life after he had to confirm that he and Keith weren’t together. He had never gotten the nerve to tell them about Curtis and he was thankful that Matt had kept quiet as well. Although the two friends had talked about it when alone.

But that didn’t mean that he and Keith weren’t close. Over the past year, despite the distance between them, they had gotten even closer. They communicated regularly and the distance that had begun to form in the first year after the war had shrunk considerably. Shiro would even go as far as to say that some of their messages had been flirty.

But they had never said ‘I love you’ to one another. Keith had nearly said it once on a video call and Shiro had stopped him. He wanted the first time they properly said those words to each other to be face to face. It was an odd but thrilling experience to know that the romantic feelings between them were mutual but to not be together. Shiro had known he needed to be in a better place before pursuing a relationship with Keith. He didn’t want to mess it up. He wanted to be his best possible self.

Now he was practically bouncing with excitement and anticipation as he waited for Keith’s ship to land. He hadn’t missed the sniggering coming from his friends as they waited.

Finally the ship landed and Shiro could barely contain himself as it had been months since he had last seen Keith in the flesh. The doors opened and Shiro felt his breath catch as he saw Keith on the other side. His hair had grown longer and he seemed to fill out the Blade uniform even more than before. He felt his mouth go dry and all he could see was Keith as he watched him approach.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

They shared a smile before throwing grabbing the others hand and hugging. They held each other tight and soaked in the other’s presence. They had been separated for far too long.

“It’s good to have you back.” Shiro whispered into Keith’s shoulder as they hugged.

“It’s good to be back.” Keith replied.

Keith pulled away first when he heard a chuckle behind him. He turned around and saw his mother and space wolf waiting for him. His mother had a knowing smile on her face and he blushed. Shiro blushed as well as it dawned on him that they had an audience.

“Shiro, it’s good to see you again.” Krolia said smiling.

“You too, ma’am.” He replied. Keith raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing at the formal greeting.

After greetings were exchanged everyone made their way out of the hangar. Shiro and Keith kept to the back. As they walked their hands brushed and it wasn’t long before Shiro pulled Keith away from the group.

“Could we go somewhere tonight? We need to talk…about us.” He asked, nerves settling in his stomach.

“Of course. Meet me in the hangar and we can go to the shack after dinner.”

“Okay.”

The two smiled and quickly caught up to the group.

Later that night both men found themselves back at the shack. They’d eaten dinner and now sat lounging on the sofa. The silence was comfortable but there was anticipation in the air.

“So, umm…” Shiro started. He looked down at his hands not sure how to start the conversation.

“I love you.” Keith interrupted. Shiro’s gaze snapped up.

“I just, umm, I wanted to be clear on that.” Keith clarified as he began to fidget with his sleeve.

“I love you too, just to be clear.” Shiro replied.

Keith’s gaze softened at his words and Shiro felt the urge to wrap his arms around Keith. An urge he didn’t resist. He buried his head into Keith’s neck and breathed in the scent of Keith’s shampoo. The two men soaked in the other’s presence as neither wanted to let go. Keith slowly pulled away a short distance and his gaze kept falling to Shiro’s lips. Shiro’s eyes copied the same movements. The two began to lean in and it wasn’t long before their lips touched. Keith cupped one of Shiro’s cheeks as they began to kiss. It was chaste and sweet but both felt like their hearts were going to burst from the sheer joy at finally kissing. They had waited so long for this and now that they had neither could think of a good reason why they hadn’t done so sooner.

Shiro still felt a pang of guilt as he kissed Keith. He had never talked to Curtis again despite how much he had wanted to apologise. The guilt had gnawed away at him for months but he was grateful that his therapist had helped him work through it. He hated how their relationship had ended and he was determined to never let anything like that happen again.

“Just to be clear, we are together now?” Shiro asked as he pulled away.

“Yes, if that’s what you want.” Keith said.

“I do.”

They shared a smile and kissed again. Shiro tightened his grip on Keith and resolved to make sure that he did this right. He was going to be honest with himself about what and who he wanted. He was determined to do right by Keith and ensure that he never fell into the self destructive behaviours of the previous year. He couldn’t let what had happened with Curtis happen again, especially not with Keith. He meant too much to him to fall back into bad habits. He would always regret what had happened with Curtis but he wasn’t going to let it affect his future. He was going to learn from it, if it was the last thing he did. He would never treat anyone else the way he treated Curtis.

He thought back over the last year and couldn’t believe how much had changed. The worst part, after the immediate aftermath of that night, had been when he told Keith about Curtis. Keith had been hurt and angry but ultimately understanding. It had eaten at him when he’d hurt Keith. He had hated how sad he had looked and it had taken weeks before Keith believed that Shiro had genuinely wanted to kiss him rather than it being a drunken mistake. The guilt of it all still gnawed at him on occasion. He had never been more thankful for his therapist than he had been during those weeks.

He was just glad that they both had been able to work through it and get back to a good place. He could admit now that Keith was the one he loved and that he did deserve to be with him. Even on his down days he knew that he would always be worthy of Keith’s love even if he didn’t feel like it.

It was moments like this that he was grateful for the wake up call of that drunken night. He regretted the circumstances and the hurt it caused but he was glad for the shake up. He knew now that he had been spiralling at the time and glad that he had gotten out of it. He was grateful for the second chance. He wasn’t going to waste it and would continue to work on himself and be the best possible version of himself for both his and Keith’s sake. He was never going to fall into that hole he had fallen into the previous year again. 

For the first time since the end of the war, the future looked bright.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never been overly fond of Shiro cheating in fics, not matter how unintentional it was, but this idea just wouldn't get out of my head.


End file.
